Thursday, April 03, 2008

A post I read today got me thinking..

Lauren over at Baseballs and Bows had a post titled I Am Starting A Movement

When reading this post she pointed to Shannon at Rocks In My Dryer post that she posted HERE. about her 12 year old son being invited to a co-ed sleepover. Being a mom of a 12 year old this caught my eye.

My very first thought was "NOT IN THIS LIFE TIME" I mean who does co-ed sleep over are they just asking for trouble.. not only was this my first thought but it was also what everyone who commented on both of these post had to say.

I was getting ready to jump on that band wagon also in a comment, when God brought back to my memory that when I was a year older then 12 I went to a co-ed sleepover.. true it wasn't at a friends house.. but at my "boyfriend" at the time church. We both went to the same christian school but went to different Baptist churches and lived in different towns. I took my best friend along with me and we had a great time. We had a cookout at the church had fun picnic games balloon tosses, egg tosses, Then a bible lesson and some bible type quizzes and game back inside the church that night lots of yummy food and fellowship, then sometime late in the wee hours of the morning the guys went to one side of the church to sleep while the girls went to another..

I went to a few of these sort of overnight co-ed church functions.. Also had one in elementary school at the christian school I went too.. I don't really remember why we had it, just for fun I guess.. once again the boys went to one room with a few of the dad and the male teachers and the girls went to another with the moms and female teachers.. All of these things were a blast and never once either in elementary school or as a teen did anything happen that shouldn't have been happening.. They had adults with us at all time and separate us when it was time to sleep.. even if it was the wee hours in the morning.

When I was an older teen I worked at a church summer camp one an island us staff members were at the camp from early Monday morning till Saturday afternoon(campers were there from Monday afternoon till Saturday morning) On the weekends that summer we had to leave the camp some of those weekends us staff members both girls and guys would plan outings to hang out. In doing this we would spend both Saturday and Sunday night at one of the teen staff member parents houses.. both the girls and the guys. once again, nothing ever happened.. the parents though not in the room at all times was there keeping an eye on things and when they were ready to go to bed, they had the girls all move some place and the boys move someplace..

One of those weekends we even had the group of us spending the night at my parents house. We all got off work(the camp) Saturday afternoon and went to Cedar Point for the day my house was the closet to The Point so afterwards we all went there to stay the weekend before heading back to camp. all the girls slept upstairs all the boys stayed out in my parents game room behind the garage. We woke up Sunday morning and went to church, hung out all Sunday afternoon went back to Church Sunday night and then headed off back to the camp on Monday morning..

So after God brought all this back to my mind.. I had to stop before saying NEVER NEVER NO NO NO, NOT IN THIS LIFETIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

None of my kids have ever been invited to a co-ed sleep over.. but if it happens.. I'll consider it, looking at who it is for, who the parents are, who is being invited.. and handle it how God leads.. There might be times I will say OK you can do that, others time I might say, NO not to this party... Or other times where I might say OK you can go to the party but not stay the night I'll pick you up at so and so of a time.

I'm all for teaching purity and protecting that purity in my children.. But I also need to trust God in the life of my children.. I can't lock them in a box to keep them safe.. Well I guess I could.. but that isn't teaching them anything either.. that doesn't let them live life..

My job is to train them, teach them, pray for them.. and I want to say trust them.. but I think what I"m looking more for is Trusting God with my children.. Then send my children out there to live there lives and pray that there lives will be pleasing to God and others might see Christ though them...

Don't get me wrong.. I'm not going to let them run wild and do things that I think could harm them or set them in Sins way.. but If God gives me a peace about letting them go here or there even if temptation might be there(because there is temptation to sin everywhere in every part of life), then I'm going to pray and Trust God that my children will make wise choices though Him.

That all being said.. I'm sure DH is still going to say NO NOT IN THIS LIFE TIME if this issue ever araises and then I'm going to have to share this post with him.

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Courtney said...

Great post. I totally agree with you and every night I pray that god let me show them how to live the life you want them to and that way it's not as hard a choice later. I guess I'll have to add to that to allow me to trust him to work in their lives!

Melissa said...

Well said!

Midlife Mom said...

Very well written and thoughtful post! I hear where you are coming from. When I first heard of co-ed overnights I almost swallowed my teeth. Then I thought of all the times our church has co-ed overnight functions that to my knowledge have always been fine. I guess it all depends on who is having the overnighter and do you trust the parents to be diligent with the care of your children. Some of these things we have to make prayerful decisions and leave it in the Lord's hands if we feel peace about it.

Fee said...

Yip... thought provoking, but I'm VERY conservative when it comes to sleep overs. In other areas I might seem alot more relaxed then many of my readers. But I had TOOOO many sleep overs that went horribly wrong! So when my eldest entered grade 1 and he was asked to a sleep over... Hubby and I just told him "our family doesn't do sleepovers!" He never asked again.... and never felt the odd one out!He is about to turn 13 and he had his first sleepover at a very close family friend 2 months ago!But girls and boys together... now that would just throw me right over the edge!(teehee)

Great read.... and I hear where you arecoming from.
Love Fee

Sniz said...

What a wise post, KC. I love it...this is how I even consideration of the facts instead of an immediate answer based on emotion and fear. We all need to trust God with our children.

Melanie said...

When I first started to read your post I thought the same way you said you did at the beginning- no way. But, then as I read it I could see your point and I agree with you. It all depends on who is hosting and how it is being supervised. Great post!!

Jennifer said...

I also read this post on Lauren's blog.
We as parents have many hard decisions to make for our children...we only have the Lord to lead and guide us. You know what, that's all we need!

Mel's World said...

You are one SMART mama...I love it when our flesh screams one thing and God gently says...but remember... flesh was crawling when I read the first couple of lines, but you are so right when you said, "I'm all for teaching purity and protecting that purity in my children.. But I also need to trust God in the life of my children.. I can't lock them in a box to keep them safe.. Well I guess I could.. but that isn't teaching them anything either.. that doesn't let them live life.."

Very well said!!!